"Filthy Lucre ain't nothing new,
And we all got cash for chaos..."
— The Sex Pistols
Not wanting to be left out of this new way of separating the gullible from their dosh, CJ proudly presents this TOTALLY UNSECURE and TOTALLY INSINCERE e-commerce site. Enter at your own peril!
Enjoy the fresh, exhilarating breeze of a rainy day at Weston-Super-Mare in the comfort of your own home or car! Bottled in empty coffeee jars washed out by CJ and manufactured near Gloucester Docks, our Bracing Sea Air is guaranteed to be odorless, colorless, and undetectable.
Coming Soon: Exotic flavors such as Grimsby Air, Hull Air, and Scarborough Fair.
(Only while stocks last, so order soon to avoid disappointment!!!)
What do you give someone who has everything? Absolutely Nothing! Simply place your order, and we will ensure you receive exactly that – nothing, guaranteed or your monbey back*!
*(Subject to deductions for post and packing, administration, photocopying, credit charges, chiropodists fees and interest calculated in line with the Retail Price Index of early Nineteenth Century Schleswig-Holstein. Typical admin deduction circa £12.99).
Be the center of attention at the beach with these daring bathing suits! Available in several bold designs, including Pagan Skyclad and Wembley Streaker. One size fits all (and we do mean all!).
NOTE: Proof of ordering or proof of cash being deducted by CJ from your card account does not in anyway constitute proof of receipt of order. Nor does anything on this page constitute a promise to supply, vend, fulfil or otherwise provide any service whatsoever except for taking your money without any possibility of warranty, guarantee, delivery or anything else for that matter. Your statutory rights are completely negated. Have a Nice Day!